I went out to the fruit market a little after nine,
A little nun was in the square, she said, "Free Palestine."
I reached right out to shake her hand and a cop slapped on a cuff,
Found a watermelon in my bag and said, "That's close enough."
Chorus
Good morning judge,
Why do you look so mean, sir?
And Mr Judge, what can the charges be?
If there's been trouble I will plead not guilty,
It must be someone else, you know it can't be me.
I wore a climate action badge to see a gallery show,
The guards they took one look at me and told me, "Out you go.
We got two million pounds to show an oil company's brand,
It'll cost two million and a half if you want to make a stand."
Chorus
I went out for the evening and I thought I'd use the loo,
A lady said, "I like your dress." I said, "Oh, thanks, yours too."
They said I should've checked her crotch before I let her pee,
They saw I hadn't shaved my legs and now they're checking me.
Chorus
(Chorus and original verses by Louis Todd Innis. Feel free to record this.)